Giggle? Yes Giggle!
Mechanic and laparoscopic surgeon
Two Little Boys In The Hospital
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car
when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was
standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come
take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,
"Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute.
" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, came over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked
argumentatively,
"So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em,
put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
basically the same work?" The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to
do it when the engine is running."
Contributor: Dr. Lorna Christie
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist. The doctor tells him he has to develop self esteem. The doctor gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table. Now get upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The undertaker." she replies.
Contributor: Dr.Kailash vishwanath
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to helpme! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed whenall of the sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes."The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?""I push them away.""I see. What do you want me to do?"The patient implored, "Break my arms."
Contributor: Dr.Sunuil Deshpandey
After two years of marriage, Tom was still questioning his wife about her lurid past. "C'mon, tell me," Tom asked for the thousandth time, "how many men have you
been with?" "Baby, " she protested, "If I told you, you'd throw a fit." Tom promised he wouldn't get angry, and convinced his wife to tell him. "Okay," she said, then started to count on her fingers, "One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven - then there's you - nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen....
Contributed by Nikhil bhardwaj
Mechanic and laparoscopic surgeon
What differences will you get when a car is being repaired by a mechanic and laparoscopy surgeon??
The mechanic dismantles the whole car and gets money, but the laparoscopic surgeon repair it without dismantling the car, can you get this clue? The laparoscopic surgeon repairs the car through the silencer (smoke exit) itself !!
Dr Senthilvel M.S (ortho)
Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon.India
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers,
"A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five
dollars," to which the guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender,
"You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract
upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink.
But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you
doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you for your kind offer. Make it a scotch."
Contributed by John philip
The Dentist's Encounter
A man picks up a girl in a party. They proceed to her place and things are starting to heat up. He takes his shirt off and washes his hands. He takes his pants off and washes hands again. So the girl tells him: "I bet you're a dentist." Surprised he says: "that's correct, how did you know?" "You washed your hands a few times, so I figured you're used to it." They go on and they have .. Then she says: "you know what? I'm willing to bet you're a very good dentist." "How can you tell?" he asks. "I didn't feel a thing...
" Contributor: Dr.Charles Sceri
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Contributor: Dr.Sopark
Two Little Boys In The Hospital
Two little boys are in a hospital and are lying next to each other. The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second replies, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first boy says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!" The second boy then asks, "What are you in here for?" The first boy replies, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision." The second says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!!!"
Contributor: Dr.Anand Nargani
Hitler and Stalin are sitting in a bar. This guy walks in and asks the barman. Isn't that
Hitler and Stalin? And the barman says "Yep, that's them" So the guy walks over and says: "Hello, what are u guys doing?" And Hitler says: "We're planning world war 3" And the guy says: "Really? What's going to happen?" And Hitler says:" Well, we're going to kill 14 million Jews this time and one bicycle
repairman." And the guy exclaims: "A bicycle repairman?!!!" So Hitler turns to Stalin and says:" See, I told you no-one would worry about the
14 million Jews!"
Contributed by Dr. Ravi Singhal
A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you." The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?" He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Again, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for supper?" She replies, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf!
Contributor: Dr. Vinod George
Three doctors and three nurses are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three doctors each buy tickets and watch as the three nurses buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a doctor. "Watch and you'll see," answered a nurse. They all board the train. The doctors take their respective seats but all three nurses cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The doctors saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the doctors decide to copy the nurses on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the nurses don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed doctor. "Watch and you'll see," answered a nurse. When they board the train the three doctors cram into a restroom and the three nurses cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the nurses leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the doctors are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, Ticket, please
Contributor: Dr. Meenakshi surndaram kandashami
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is herfirst pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies,"Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman andpregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain.""I know, but can't you give me some idea?," she asks."Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little...""Like this?""A little more...""Like this?""No. A little more...""Like this?""Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit.""Now stretch it over your head!"
Contributor: Dr.Charles Rangeera
A Doctor dies and goes to hell. The devil greets him and tells him thatsince he was doctor, and did some good that he could choose his eternity.The devil opens the first door, there are doctors hanging from their anklesbeing whipped by demons. "Oh my God, I don't want that", the doctorreplies. The devil opens a second door to reveal doctors on fire beingchased by huge beasts. "That one is even worse!" says the doctor, gettingmore nervous. The devil opens a third door to reveal doctors in loungechairs being served tropical drinks by gorgeous, scantily clad nurses."Signme up for that eternity!" the doctor states. The devil then slams that doorand says,"You can't go there, you weren't supposed to see that." Thedoctor states why can't I go there? The devil replies, "Well.... that's nursehell."
Contributor: Dr. Susan young
